time to make my intentions clear

Well, today is the day: New Years Eve.  For those not already in the know, I am uber indifferent to the very notion of NYE.  I don't really get the desire to celebrate the coming of a new day.  Shoot, I am up past midnight right now and I didn't feel the need to drink champagne and find someone to kiss.  Just plain silly.  


Regardless of my indifference, I picked up the fun idea to list some intentions (not resolutions, but intentions) for the coming year by a dear friend of mine.  I figure that, given I am midway through my first year as a doctoral student, this would be as good a time as any to give this a go.  I also figured I should share these to give myself some accountability.  I also have worked hard to make sure these are goals that can be measured (my friend Kevin would be so proud of me for writing SMART goals).  I figured this will be easier for me to judge my progress than having goals like "be a better person"...cause that seems (a) like an awful goal to begin with (better than what?  What was "wrong" that needed to become better in the first place? Why the desire to be "better" even?) and (b) it doesn't give me anything to work toward other than a vague shadow of a quasi-goal.  So, without further ado, here are some of my intentions...


1. Cook 90% of my meals.  I have done decently well at this during the past couple years, but find myself slipping at certain points.  Hopefully this will keep me honest, especially with me traveling for conferences.  
2. Purchase 75% of non-food items from secondhand/thrift/goodwill/craft websites and stores.  Here's to economies of scale and supporting individuals rather than conglomerates.  
3. Take Grrtrude on long morning walks during weekdays.  Sometimes this happens, but I need to wake up early on a regular basis so we can burn off some of her energy.  
4. Take Grrtrude on long afternoon/evening walks 2-3 days a week.  I'll admit it - I got real lazy after classes last semester.  Thankfully I don't have classes that end at 9:00p regularly, which means longer walks will be easier to do for the both of us.  
5. Exercise 2-3 days a week.  I am not counting my mile walk to and from campus as exercise either.  I am talking about going to the gym, running, or using BetCi, which is on the indoor trainer.  
6. Go camping once a month during the summer.
7. Write 3 letters each week.  If you want some real snail mail, send me your address!
8. Journal at least once a week.
9. Make a portion or all of any gifts I give.  I figure this will help me make gift-giving special.  Food, crafts, and/or some other fun things will be made for those who I love.  Get ready!
10. Carry my camera with me regularly.  I have a nice one, so I might as well use it, right?


Ten should be good for now - I have some others, but I gotta leave something to the imagination, right?  


And what am I doing for New Years Eve, you ask?  I am spending the morning reading (I hope to finish book #5, and start book #6, of the break), having a low-key evening with friends, and ringing in the new year by giving my Number One Grrl in my life, Miss Grrtrude Anne, a big kiss.  Let's hope her breath doesn't smell too much like dog treats...

a season for reading

This is not a surprise for those who know me (which is really everyone who follows this blog), but I have an unusually intense habit of reading.  Some people have told me this is a result of my being in a doc program (or perhaps even a reason I was drawn back to the academy).  However, I know lots of people who are not interested in pursuing a terminal degree, but who love to read...not sure that line of thinking holds much water.  

Regardless, I love to read, and while I am not traveling for the winter holiday, I have been able to do lots of amazing reading.  In fact, the reading is so great that I wanted to be able to share some of it with you, my readers.  The only thing I ask is that if you actually pick up one of the books, just let me know what you think of it!  

Instead of going chronologically, I am going to move through the 3 (and a half) books I have read based on what still has me thinking and pondering and dreaming the most...

Queer Phenomenology by Sara Ahmed

Admittedly, this book is not for everyone.  In fact, I would say that if you are not interested in philosophy, queer theory, and/or some artful semantical twists, you should sit this one out.  Not because the book will be over your head (in fact, Ahmed does a great job writing for comprehension - a task some queer theorists just don't seem to get...*cough*PattiLather&JudithButler*cough*), but because you will likely just not dig on it.  

I am about 60% through this book so far, but whenever I pick it up I have a hard time putting it down.  This has meant I have been up until 2:00a some evenings/mornings.  Even when I try to put the book down, my head still swims with the way Ahmed weaves through and around concepts. This book is not without its critique though - something in the text has made me wonder how Ahmed, who identifies as a lesbian and thus part of the queer community, would react to different readings of queerness from those who identify as bisexual, pansexual, and/or polyamorous.  Her use of directionality speaks to people being "pulled" or "compelled" toward, as she would put it, "this" or "that" other person.  Although she invokes a one to one relationship here based on her personal experience (in this case a woman being drawn to a woman), there is a part in the book that makes me question whether she would see these other non-normative sexual orientations as valid as orientating some to various others (maybe even at the same time in terms of those who identify as poly).  

Also, while I have heard some folks frustrated with her lack of an all-encompassing vision of queerness, I am moved by the way Ahmed uses language (especially the notion of contingency) to explore how a queer phenomenology can be understood and deployed.  She sets an example that can be used in multiple queer contexts, so while she is looking specifically primarily at sexual orientation and somewhat at racism (chapter three, which I am about to start, discusses racism), one can see how this analysis would fit all queer identities, be they in terms of gender identity, social class, national origin, ability, etc.  

Normal Life by Dean Spade

Although this is second on my list, this is by far and away one of the most provocative and moving reads I have had in recent memory; and this is no hyperbole.  Dean Spade, who is a law professor at Seattle University School of Law and a founder of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project in New York City, wrote a beautiful book on what he describes as critical trans politics.  

This book, steeped in the legal tradition of critical race theory, demands that those who are part of the trans movement look to focus on activism that will actually increase life chances for subaltern populations.  Spade's intentional focus on intersectionality and on activism that actually increases life chances.  Spade is masterful in his sharp criticism of the lesbian and gay rights movement, uncovering how the legalizing gay marriage, allowing gays to serve openly in the military, anti-discrimination policies, and having LGBT folks included in hate crime legislation do not actually increase life chances for highly marginalized populations.  Hence, he says that legal advocacy and policy changes are not always the best place for substantial activism to be done.  

Instead, Spade looks at administrative systems (think IDs and healthcare) and how taking a critical approach to these systems could indeed increase life chances for trans and other subaltern populations.  Concerned with making real life changes, Spade strays from advocating for the inclusion of LGBT folks either at the risk of further marginalizing others and/or just advocating for these groups in namesake only.  His argument is clear, concise, meaningful, and provides a distinct direction for those looking to practice a politics of inclusion.  This is an absolute must read for folks interested in legal advocacy as well as working with/for/amongst marginalized populations (or are a part of such communities).  

Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldua

This book is part history, part personal narrative, part poetry, part meditation on writing, and part autobiography. Anzaldua, who weaves two languages together throughout the book, shows what it truly means to be vulnerable through her writing and how important it is to become fully enmeshed in the task of writing.  Her voice is powerful, and her words have stayed with me since I read her book a couple weeks ago.  

One of the best things about this book is its form.  The second half of the book is all poetry, which is glorious.  Indeed, some of the first half is poetry as well.  Also, despite me not understanding Spanish, I love how she unabashedly enhances her writing by doing so in both Spanish and English.  An interruption for some, it reminds those of us who do not speak/read Spanish to step outside of the English-centric world in which we live.  

This book opens up possibilities for how I write as I move forward in my career and life.  It also reminds me to center my own experiences in my writing, as writing is a deeply personal endeavor.  Additionally, Anzaldua reminds one of the beauty of, as she puts it, being "excruciatingly alive in the world."  This is just an all around good book for folks who love language, are writers, or want to push the bounds of how they think and perceive the world.  It is quite literally the most beautifully written book I have read in some time...so much so it almost moved me to tears...multiple times.  Yup - it's that good.  

The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

As a number of people have kindly pointed out, this has been my only "fun read" of my break.  Despite my claiming otherwise, the claim has remained steadfast.  At least I haven't received any Shakespearian-inspired lines ("methinks she doth protest too much") regarding my insistence that all the reading I have been doing is (a) fun and (b) fun.  All in good time, I am sure...

But I digress...

This book, which I have been wanting to read since Jon Ronson was on The Daily Show (or maybe it was The Colbert Report?) this past summer, is witty, charming, and really engrossing.  I actually read this book in a day!  It is a fascinating look at the pathology of psychopathy as well as what Ronson defines as "the madness industry."  Ronson, who is the author who wrote The Men Who Stare At Goats, is very funny (but not cloyingly so) and engages the reader in a wonderfully-woven tale.  Anyone who has issues with the DSM should read this book...although it will likely only increase the issues you have with the DSM, so maybe you should skip it? 

But seriously, it is a good, fun, and quick read - I would suggest it for all!

Well - those are the books I have been reading thus far.  I am hoping to also read The Colonizer and the Colonized by Albert Memmi and In a Queer Time and Place by Judith Halberstam before classes start.  I also have about five more articles to read before I can start a new backlogged articles pile.  Once again, not sure this is the life of an academic (surely other people enjoy good reading), but I guess it doesn't hurt.  

And then there are all the amazing books my brother and mom got me for the holidays... #neverenoughtime (that's right - I hash tagged it).  

Houston Woods State Park (on a dreary day)

Well friends, it is that time in the semester.  You remember the time I am talking about, right?  It's the end of the semester and I am...surprisingly not uber-busy?  Wait - that's not how this is meant to play out, is it?


Or is it?  Best to not ask questions on this one...


Now that I am out of the proverbial woods (by and large, still a couple assignments to do), I decided to head into the literal woods with two of my wonderful friends, Kaeden and Maria. And of course Grrtrude was tagging along.  She wouldn't miss the mud for her life!  Below are some wonderful photos of a dreary grey afternoon walk we took.  While it may look unfun to y'all, remember that I am still basking in the glory of seeing trees, leaves, moss, and rain.  I mean, the Southwest was nice and all, but this nature is just wonderful!

look at all this glorious moss!

lead the way, little g!

these little things were fun - just hanging out on the side of trees....

here is a closeup of one - it looks like a disc stuck in the trunk

this was really cool - the thing on the left is the bark of the tree on the right!  the whole strip of bark was hanging by a vine and swinging lightly.  I loved seeing it's movement and wish I could have taken a video.  Drat - I just remembered I have a video option on my camera!!  Gah - next time...

closeup of the bark - i like the contrast with the woods through the hole in the bark

this pond was cool and looks so mysterious with this weather - i felt like i should have seen a pirate ship!  Yar matey!

but if no pirate ship was going to show itself, at least i saw this badass duck braving the weather solo-style

and i - i took the road less traveled.